So I was thinking tonight that I prayed a prayer something like that alcoholics anonymous prayer.  I prayed for the right mix of grace and stubbornness, and the wisdom to figure out that mix.  It's not that I want to be stubborn, it's just that I want to be true to me.  I want to compromise, to empathize, and to give, but while staying true to who I am.

 And this blog is sort of like that - my name but nothing else I think.  Its because I'm too chicken-shit I guess to go to something like a meeting.  But making it public still somehow makes me accountable, even if I stay a little bit hidden in my anonymity.  This blog, in its solitude, is still my introverted - self created- kind of public declaration kind of meeting.  It's my liars anonymous.  Except, I'm not a liar anymore (that's my problem with these things, it seems to me in declaring who you are you are already declaring who you were) I was a liar. I struggle with being a liar, but I'm not lying when I say - that identity - lying - is not who I am.  And I have struggled and I will not be a liar - so let's all be who we're becoming and not who we were.

So here goes a quiet public journey of becoming.